Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
your thong is hanging out like whoa
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
