Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
