I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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