i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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