Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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