The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
