I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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