Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
