awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
