I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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