I have demons in me.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
