so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
