You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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