were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
