Where are you?
In a non slutty way
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
