i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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