Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Semen is not good for contacts.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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