Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
