Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
