my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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