the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
