I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
