In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
