In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
