She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
