I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
