Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
