you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
