oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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