Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
