Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
