p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
