we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So squirting runs in the family.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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