There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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