google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We named our party play list daddy issues
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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