Porn is love you can see.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
This house was built for laser tag.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
