marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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