I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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