i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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