I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
