Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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