I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
