We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm having to shit out rocks
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
