its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
