Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
