i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
