I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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