I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
