Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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