More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
